Surviving Passion Read online

  Cal nodded, looking genuinely relieved.

  “You should get cleaned up and rest,” he told her more soberly as she finished with him.

  Selena nodded, casting her gaze back to where Dan lay on the table.

  “Can you find some lightweight clothes? He can be moved to his bed. Blaire’s bringing the litter.”

  He nodded and headed for the door.

  “Cal …”

  He turned.

  “Very carefully.”

  He grinned. “We’ll try not to drop him.”

  As Cal strode out, Selena returned to Dan’s side. She looked down on his beautiful face, half expecting his eyes to flash open and pin her with the piercing gaze she had come to know so well. But they remained closed and his breathing was steady and slow. Selena had never seen Dan anything less than perfectly alert. It was strange to see him looking so peaceful, so vulnerable and wounded. This twisted her heart. She reached out, intending to brush his face with her fingertips, but stopped herself. She owed it to him to wait until he was conscious before expressing her feelings. Selena took a long, deep breath. Abruptly she felt the need to be alone and to clear her head.

  The evening air was still warm when she walked down the steps and made her way to the swollen pond. Fearlessly, she shed her clothing and strode into the water until it reached her hips, then stood staring up at the myriad of glimmering stars in the sky.

  “Thank you,” she whispered reverently, closing her eyes.

  She let herself fall into the water’s cold caress. For the first time in her life, she felt completely safe. Selena revelled in the cleansing water that enveloped and surrounded her skin. It was hard not to feel like some divine force cradled her in its protective embrace, and she relaxed completely, surrendering to whatever lay ahead. She had never thought much about the idea of a God, but after such a vastly merciful outcome to the torturous events of the past two days, she had to wonder. Every moment felt like nothing less than a miracle.

  After Selena had finished bathing and dressed in a clean set of clothes, she made her way back to the dining hall. Clint’s body was gone now. She entered and saw that Dan had been moved to his own cabin and Blaire was at work cleaning the table he had lain on. Everyone else was there as well, sitting scattered around the other two tables. Their faces were drawn, and Sara sat weeping softly in her chair, holding a very quiet Jay on her lap. An assortment of random food items was laid out before them and they ate slowly, conversing in respectfully low tones. Blaire looked up as she entered.

  “You look much better,” she offered as Selena hurried for a plate. Then the woman frowned, “That’s right. When was the last time you ate?”

  Selena shook her head in answer, feeling dizzy just thinking about food. She grabbed whatever was available and struggled not to take it in too fast. Aware that the others were watching her curiously, Selena ignored them. She knew they had a lot of questions, but didn’t look like they wanted to bother her until she had taken care of herself. They were tired as well, but Selena guessed that they needed each other’s comforting presence in order to feel secure again.

  When Selena wasn’t quite so ravenous anymore, she turned her attention to the others, steeling herself for whatever their thoughts, questions or judgments might be. Blaire finished cleaning and joined the others. They were feeling Jimmy’s loss and she was sure they were concerned for Dan as well. It had been a close call for all of them, and they were deeply shaken by all that had happened and all that could have happened.

  “I told them the story,” Cal said to Selena. He was quiet, but the others stopped to listen all the same.

  “We owe everything to the both of you,” Bear put in sincerely, sounding like he was speaking for them all.

  Selena wagged her head. “Seems like a lot of what happened, happened because of us.” Her eyes turned to Cal. “There was more to the story than what I told you. Clint was here to avenge his father.”

  Even Sara’s attention was on her then. She recounted Clint’s story about the deaths of the two fathers.

  “I knew there was some twisted shit with that guy,” Cal hissed, throwing up his hands emphatically.

  Ben stroked his chin thoughtfully before putting in, “I wonder how Dan didn’t know that.”

  “Well Dan doesn’t expect nobody to like him,” Blaire pointed out.

  “That’s right,” Shane nodded. “He knew Clint had a problem with him. He just had no way of knowing why. Besides, Clint didn’t get on particularly well with anyone.”

  “Dan’s going to be the last one to know about this,” Ben mused. “That will be a strange experience for him, if he pulls through.”

  “He’ll pull through,” Susan told them with certainty.

  Selena could tell that faith was the foundation for this statement and wished she shared Susan’s conviction, but a bad infection could kill any animal, large or small, strong or weak. Dan had so many wounds.

  “You said this was because of both of you,” Gina reminded her.

  Selena shrugged, “I wound up being the tool to lure Dan away, leaving you unprotected.” She looked up at Bear sheepishly, adding, “Clint tried to force himself on me. I didn’t want everyone to know, so I asked Bear and Blaire to help me deal with him. They threatened him, but that was all.” She stared at the ground in shame. “I didn’t want to be a helpless victim. If I’d admitted the truth to everyone about how dangerous he was, none of this might have happened.” Involuntarily, her eyes welled. “I should have told him.”

  “Don’t you go beating yourself up, Selena,” Blaire admonished critically. “You’ve been through enough and what you did in the end may have saved all of our lives.”

  The others murmured in agreement and Selena nodded, forcing her tears away.

  “What happened when I was taken away?” Selena asked, mostly for the purpose of changing the subject.

  Blaire groaned. “If anyone should feel bad, it’s me. I forgot to lock the door that night. I wake up and you’re gone. There’s blood on your pillow and that’s all we know. When you went missin’, Bear and I told everyone the real story.”

  “You should have seen Dan’s face,” Ben said candidly with a shudder. “He flipped.”

  “Well … he didn’t say a word,” Gina pointed out.

  “That’s what happens when he flips,” Ben reminded her.

  “Took him all of five minutes to ride out of here after you,” Blaire added. “Couldn’t even get any food to him before he disappeared.”

  Selena nodded, “Clint was counting on it happening like that.” Her fists clenched at the memory until Blaire’s second statement sank in. “He didn’t take food with him?”

  Blaire shook her head, pursing her lips in disapproval. “Don’t know if he had any scraps with him. Not even sure how much water he had.”

  Selena cradled her head in her hands and groaned. “No wonder he’s unconscious. His body is trying to heal after forty-eight hours of starvation, exhaustion and maybe dehydration to top it off. With all those gashes, he’ll definitely be fighting some infection. When the fever comes …” she trailed off, standing from the table.

  “You let me know if there’s anything you need,” Blaire offered as Selena headed for the door. “I’ll make some broth first thing in the morning, for a start.”

  “Thanks Blaire,” she said before making her way out into the night.

  Selena returned to Blaire’s cabin to get a clean pillow and some blankets, along with her other things. When she arrived at Dan’s, it was pitch black inside, but she managed to light one of the many lanterns that had been placed strategically throughout. Blaire’s foresight again, Selena assumed. With the help of the lantern light, she found Dan in a large bed that lay in the right hand corner of his room. There was only one raggedly thin blanket over him.

  Selena sat at the edge of the bed. It was much bigger than her own single, but Dan was tall and his feet would have dangled out of it. She leaned toward him quietly and
studied his face in the candlelight. The peaceful expression he wore was still strange to her. She reached out tentatively to place her wrist on his forehead. He was very warm already, but not dangerously so. Selena dug around his cabin and found extra blankets in a closet. There were also several jugs of drinking water next to the bed, and washcloths in a little stack next to an empty bowl on the bedside table. Selena unfolded the blankets she’d found and draped them over him. He was going to have to sweat this out. Resolving to check on him throughout the night, Selena snuffed out the lantern, laid her pillow on the floor and pulled her own blankets on. She was asleep within moments.

  Seventeen

  Troubled dreams bore down on Selena. Swirling images confused her. There was nothing to hold onto, just a never-ending stream of mutating color and suffocating heat. She was trapped in a place where she couldn’t see clearly, or hear. She couldn’t breathe and there was something she needed to do.

  Her eyes opened. She groaned and rolled over, exhausted. After several moments, she remembered where she was and jumped up. A bout of dizziness threatened to bring her back down again, so she sat quickly at the edge of Dan’s bed.

  In the dark, Selena carefully felt her way to his face, grateful that her dreams had forced her to wake. His temperature was hot now, and his skin damp. She lit several lanterns and filled the bowl on his bedside table with water from one of the jugs. After soaking a washcloth and wringing it out a bit, Selena laid it carefully across his forehead. Pulling his covers aside, she could see that his body was glistening with sweat. He’d been dressed in a pair of linen pants, which allowed for good air circulation. Her brow creased with concern as she unwrapped his shoulder carefully and checked the wound. She breathed a sigh of relief when she found no evidence of infection. The color and smell were both safe, for now.

  Selena systematically examined each of his wounds. She was sure that each contributed a little, but the ankle looked to be the one causing the real problem. There was already some swelling and worrisome discoloration. It wasn’t dangerously bad, but she found it necessary to clean it again, and this time more carefully than the first. Throughout the process, he never stirred.

  When she was finally satisfied, Selena replaced the bandage and pulled all but one of the covers back on him again. Not quite ready to succumb to sleep yet, she sat down beside him. His eyelids fluttered for a few seconds and his breathing became uneven. His hand flicked sideways where it lay on the bed. She wondered what he was dreaming about, but then his eyelids were still and his breathing regular again. Her eyes were drawn to the hand that had moved. It was magnificent, she thought without surprise. Unable to restrain herself, Selena reached out and placed her hand in his. She enjoyed the way they looked together with their subtly contrasting skin tones and the great difference in size. It felt shockingly good just to touch him this way, and Selena began to realize what an intimate thing a hand was. Gazing down at them, she marveled that two members of the same species could look so different.

  After several minutes, Selena’s eyes began to close, so reluctantly, she laid herself down on the floor and let sleep claim her again.

  When she awoke, dawn was just breaking. She stretched where she lay, and felt sore all over. It was becoming clear how much her exertions had taken out of her. When she dragged herself to her feet, Selena found Dan unchanged. His temperature remained high, and the washcloth lay next to his pillow. It was hardly damp. She soaked it in the cool water before replacing it on his forehead and checked his shoulder next to find it mercifully the same. When she examined the ankle wound, it looked ever so slightly better. The swelling had decreased noticeably. Pulling his covers on him again, Selena worried her lip. He needed food and water and he needed them badly. If he didn’t wake up in the next couple of hours, she would have to try to make him.

  Selena needed food herself. Although she didn’t want to leave his side, she quietly stepped out of the cabin. The morning air was brisk and the sky clear. Feeling abruptly hopeful about the future, there was more spring in her step than usual as she made her way to the kitchen. When she passed the fire pit, the bodies were missing from the grizzly scene of the day before. I wonder where they moved them? Then she wondered if she cared. Selena entered the kitchen and found Blaire up and working as usual. The woman was a marvel.

  “Good mornin’,” she told Selena. “How is he?”

  “Still out. I need to get something in him soon. That broth you mentioned is a perfect start, but for him, I’ll need a whole chicken afterwards.”

  “That’s no problem at all. I’ll have one roasted and waitin’. He burnin’ up?”

  Selena nodded, taking an apple from the counter and munching on it gratefully. “His ankle flared up. It’s already looking better, though. I think he’ll pull through just fine as long as he eats.”

  “Poor Dan,” Blaire said gravely as she put a handful of green beans and a hard-boiled egg on a plate. “Can’t imagine what it took to do that to him.”

  “Six skilled and careful knife-fighters at once, all working relentlessly to tire him out, not including Jake who had some kind of serious training. Some blood loss. Add in a grueling day of tracking and two days without food to the mix and there you have it.”

  Blaire wagged her head, adding a generous helping of turkey and handing the plate to Selena. “Breakfast. Eat up. You need food yourself.”

  “Thanks,” she replied, sitting at the bar with her meal.

  Ben walked in looking very dirty, but smug. Selena eyed him curiously as she nibbled the turkey.

  “How’s it goin’ Ben?” Blaire asked.

  “We’re gonna have some damn good plums in a few years,” he told the women before grabbing up a jug of water and chugging deeply.

  “Back to farming already,” Selena pondered incredulously. “You guys just bounce right back, don’t you? What’s so special about these plums?”

  “Fertilizer,” Ben grinned.

  Selena stared at him blankly as she chewed.

  “The bodies?”

  Selena froze. “Oh.”

  “You’re kind of thick sometimes, you know?”

  She couldn’t suppress a disgusted look.

  “I got my reservations too,” Blaire confided. “’Fraid they’ll turn us all into assholes. But ya’ know. Waste not want not and all that.” She winked playfully at Ben, who nodded emphatically.

  He looked downright jazzed.

  Selena fought to swallow her last bite of turkey and hoped one of them would change the subject. Soon enough, Ben went back to his morbid work and Selena was allowed to finish her meal in peace.

  “I got that broth ready. Let me know when you need it and I’ll warm it up,” Blaire said.

  Selena thanked her. After she’d finished with breakfast, she took her time returning to Dan’s cabin. The sun shone brightly in the sky now and the air had warmed in its glow. When Selena arrived, she checked Dan’s temperature. It was distinctly cooler and a surge of relief swept through her. There was nothing to do, for now, so she found a chair and dragged it to his room. Fishing through her pack, she found a few scraps of leather along with her basic tools for sewing. Selena sat down and waited, working on a small bag to keep her occupied.

  It was nearing noon when she heard him grunt in his sleep.

  “Selena!” he yelled, shooting up sideways toward the edge of the bed. He caught himself awkwardly on one elbow before he could slide off. His wide eyes darted between her and the room for several moments as he made sense of the situation. She stared back in wonder, knowing that this was the first moment that she’d ever seen his face completely unguarded, and even if he pulled through like she expected, it could be the last. His confusion finally faded and he winced, falling back onto his pillow to stare up at the ceiling. A silent minute or two passed.

  “I feel terrible,” he said, as though it was a revelation.

  Selena’s insides hurt. Between his honesty and her knowledge of everything he’d been through, she
had to blink back tears.

  “I know,” she whispered, battling her overwhelming need to go to him. He should have time to collect his thoughts.

  “I’ll be right back. Don’t move,” she warned him threateningly. He didn’t look ready to argue. It was a day of firsts.

  Selena hurried out to the kitchen. In minutes, she was heading briskly back with a jug of hot chicken broth and a clean bowl and spoon. When she stepped quietly back into the room, his eyes were closed again. She set the bowl on the bedside table and filled it. A second look indicated that he was asleep again. She sat down beside him.

  “Dan.”

  He grunted softly in response. His eyes remained closed, so she placed a hand on his chest. That opened them.

  “Can you sit up?”

  “What for?” he murmured.

  “Food. What else? Come on,” she urged, shifting his pillows as he worked to move himself to a vertical position.

  Selena grabbed the bowl and gathered a spoonful of the broth for him. Dan caught the scent and abruptly took the bowl from her hands with his good arm, leaving her holding the spoon in the air. He chugged several gulps eagerly.

  “Dan! Slow down,” she said in alarm, tugging the bowl from his grasp carefully so as not to spill it everywhere. “You don’t want it coming up again.”

  He fixed her with a bare look of confusion.

  “I’m hungry.”

  Selena’s heart melted and she smiled before she could stop herself.

  His brow furrowed.

  “I’m sorry,” she said quickly, leaning away to put the spoon back on the side table. She forced her composure to return before facing him again. “You need to take it slow. Just one sip at a time.”

  With a good deal of effort, Dan managed to do as she asked. At least he doesn’t need to be spoon-fed, she thought. Blaire was right when she said he was tough as nails.

  They sat there quietly as he managed to drink down two bowls in addition to the first. His eyes grew brighter quickly as the nourishment took effect. He gave her an inquiring look when the third serving was gone. This time she didn’t try to hide the little smile that crept up.