Surviving Passion Read online

  Jake’s deadly bearing pounded the closed walls of her mind as he strode in with his own knives gleaming. She watched with dim comprehension as Dan reoriented to focus on his new adversary. As the two men circled each other with measured steps, a horrible suspense clung in the air. One of Jake’s remaining men took the opportunity to dart in from behind. Dan whirled, knife singing through the air as he attempted a retaliatory slash, but Jake leapt in and Dan had to contort his body to avoid the man’s vicious thrust.

  Selena cried out in frustration. She had lost the strength to keep quiet. This isn’t fair! her tortured mind repeated over and over. The injustice of what she was seeing tore at her insides. They can’t do this!

  “That’s one sexy little thing you wanted all to yourself,” Jake taunted as he circled. “Made a little deal to give her to Clint.”

  Dan’s ire was tangible in his next attack, and Jake very narrowly avoided a high slash at his face. He laughed in amusement.

  “I don’t see why everyone’s gotta be so selfish,” he went on with a leer, keeping his distance. “Only fitting for friends to share. Ain’t that right, Dan?”

  As an answer, Dan’s left hand shot up as he flung a knife at Jake. The other man dodged, but the blade sliced his cheek before sailing past his head. He reeled back and Selena heard him growl in anger as he recovered. The two men stared at each other with smoldering hatred. The amusement went out of Jake’s eyes and was replaced with pure malice.

  Dan’s right-hand dagger was his sole weapon now. A second later, one of the others came at him from behind. Somehow, he managed to catch the wrist of the man’s knife hand and with a savage growl, threw a high kick into his arm. A sickening crunch sounded in the air as the arm bent far in the wrong direction. He screamed in agony. Jake was in it again before Dan could land a killing blow. In a blur, Selena saw Jake score a heavy punch to the kidney before Dan could disentangle himself. He was angry, she realized as Jake taunted him again.

  “I’m gonna have me a taste of that one before I hand her over. Clint’s a reasonable fellow. Not like you. I’ll take all the time I want with that sweet little thing,” Jake spat the words like a viper.

  Dan’s fury seemed to radiate from his body, but now Jake attacked in earnest. Selena could clearly see the frightening skill in his technique. He was relentless. He came at Dan again and again. Thrust after thrust, he was forced to parry or dodge while evading the other men all at once. With so much time spent defending himself, there was little opportunity for offense; and Jake was fresh in the fight and full of energy. His blows began to score, but he used his fists and the blunt handle of his dagger instead of the blade. He was only toying with him now, like the fight was already over.

  Selena’s stomach dropped as she saw a new look in Dan’s eyes then. The horrible hatred for his opponent seemed to mingle with an expression of pain. Though he bled in many places, Selena knew the hurt was far beyond physical. He was exhausted, and she suffered the crushing revelation that what she saw was the tortured expression of failure.

  Selena stared, dumbfounded as she watched Jake score again and again. Now he was landing shallow slices wherever he could. The agonizing truth finally rained down on her like bricks. Dan was a man like any other. That was all he had ever been, human through and through. Like everyone else, he could be made to suffer. He could be overwhelmed. He was alone and he was in pain. It was at this tragic moment that Selena knew she loved him desperately, and she couldn’t live in a world where the radiant flame of his life was put out.

  As reality finally beat her down, a wrenching sob tore from her chest. Her heart was breaking as she looked at him. Pain sang out from the center of her body to her extremities. She could no longer see through her tears. Clint was the only thing keeping her upright now. He brutally grabbed her by the jaw and forced her to face the terrible scene unfolding below. Dan stood, doubled over, his injured arm held close to his body. Every human instinct screamed at her to go to him, to make his pain go away. He was the only thing that mattered.

  Through her debilitating anguish, Selena knew that there was no one to help; no one to stop this. She wanted desperately to believe it was all a bad dream and she would awaken at any moment. Dan would be safe and whole. She would run to him and hold him in her arms. But this wasn’t a dream.

  He was losing.

  Sixteen

  He’s going to die. Selena finally understood. In a matter of minutes, or maybe seconds, Dan would be gone forever. She would never hold him or tell him she loved him. He would never hear her say that she belonged to him. Memories of foolish mistakes and wasted opportunities would destroy her slowly from the inside out. He would never again try to keep her safe. He would never be a husband or a father to anyone. Because of his sacrifice, the rest of them would have a chance at life. He knew they were going to suffer, but all he could give them with his death was that chance, and he had been more than willing to offer it.

  Selena finally snapped under the strain of the knowledge that these things would soon come to pass. A frenzied, burning ire welled and burgeoned beneath her skin. The tears stopped as her frantically spinning mind latched onto the flimsiest of notions. Her thoughts were suddenly crystal clear. Maybe. Just maybe. For now, it was all she had, and Selena would consider any plan, no matter how crazy or unlikely a solution it seemed.

  Adrenaline shot through her veins like fire and ice entwined. She clamped her hands on the railing, still trapped in Clint’s painful hold, and waited until he leaned in close behind her. In a flash, she bent forward and then slammed her head back with all her strength. Selena heard a crack followed by a furious yell of pain.

  Her wrists were free. She tore the gag from her face and frantically put her thumb and forefinger to her lips, then blew. The first time, nothing came out but air, but on the second try, a high, sputtering whistle issued forth. She hoped it was enough.

  Selena risked a moment’s glance below and Dan was on the ground, struggling just to lift himself from the dirt. But the noise had distracted Jake and his two remaining men. For the moment, they weren’t overly concerned with Dan. To buy him time, she would gleefully give them another show they could not ignore.

  Selena reached back and pulled her dagger from her shirt in a flash. She rounded on Clint as her wild, pent-up rage finally erupted. Selena thirsted madly for his blood. He clutched his shattered nose as gouts of red poured down his face. His eyes barely had time to widen as she launched herself at him with measureless ferocity. Her knife was in his throat before he could lift an arm in defense, but it wasn’t enough for her. She plunged the blade in as far as it would go and decimated his flesh.

  Only her fear for Dan could tear her away from her fallen enemy. She leapt to the railing in time to see Buck’s huge black form round the corner of the dining hall. His saddle and bridle remained on him from their pursuit.

  The air flew from Selena’s chest in hysterical relief as she took in the animal’s bearing. He cantered at the men below with his ears pinned flat and his head low. A thousand pounds of very angry stallion was suddenly in the fray. Buck thrust himself between Dan and his attackers. They scattered, but not quickly enough. The horse had the speed to clamp his teeth on the neck of a fleeing man, lifting and tossing him easily into the air. He stamped savagely at the man when he tumbled to the ground. The animal was everything they had said.

  Selena saw Dan slowly climb to his feet. She rushed to the doors of the dining hall. She was no fool and knew that Jake was beyond her skill to bring down without her sling. Clawing frantically at the chains that bound the handles, she had the door open in moments. She flung them wide and scanned the men inside. Each of them had their arms tied behind their backs. They were bound to the long steel pipe of the heater that sat against the room’s back wall.

  “Jesus,” a man’s voice whispered. She must have looked like a demon. Her disheveled visage was covered in blood and her eyes were wild. She darted inside, cutting their bonds with all the spee
d her adrenaline afforded her.

  “Kill them!” Selena screamed the command as the men were freed. They hardly needed encouragement. When the last of the restraints were broken, Selena bolted back out into the light. By the time she reached the railing, Dan was struggling to climb onto his horse. Bear, Cal and Shane surrounded Jake. They had gathered weapons from the fallen. Bear hurled his weight into a dangerous attack, but the depth of Jake’s skill was finally emerging as he dodged and retaliated with blinding speed. He took no chances now that it was his own life at stake. Selena’s apprehension grew as she watched them. It was more than clear that he outclassed them all.

  Dan was mounted by the time she reached the bottom of the stairs. He slumped forward in the saddle, but still clutched his dagger tightly, urging the horse back toward the fray.

  Selena’s eyes widened. He couldn’t be re-engaging? The others saw him coming and assembled to Jake’s front. Cal exchanged subtle glances with Dan. Selena watched, feeling paralyzed again. Fear and incredulity clung in her throat as Dan rode for a pass at Jake’s back. For the third time since she’d known him, time slowed. The horse’s hooves thudded steadily on the ground. Looking like a beaten god, Dan readied himself. Just as he drew near, Cal sprang forward, slashing at Jake’s feet again and again.

  Jake was forced to jump up and back to avoid the blade just as another came down on him from above. Selena blinked and Jake was on the ground, his dark blood pooling around him. Just like that, it was over.

  Selena’s pulse roared in her ears and was deafening in the abrupt silence of the seconds that followed. She stood there dumbly, struggling against the pull of collapse. Forcing herself to breathe, her heart rate began, very slowly, to decrease. Tears of relief welled in her eyes as she stumbled toward them. Bear, Cal and Shane stood still, working to catch their breath as Selena had.

  When she drew near, Dan slumped forward in the saddle. His friends rushed forward to catch his limp frame as he slid from the horse. Selena ran to his side as they set him on the ground. She forced herself to blink away her tears as she examined his wounds. Her work was far from over. When she had found a suitable strip of cloth, Selena was able to tie off the shoulder wound, which was bleeding the most profusely.

  “Get him onto the dining room table,” she told the men. Her own voice sounded far away. As Cal and Bear lifted him, Selena saw Ben coming from the storeroom with the women and children following behind. Gina broke into a run and threw herself into Shane’s arms, clutching him desperately. He gently returned her embrace. Susan’s hand was on her heart as she held her daughter and watched her husband carry Dan up the stairs.

  Selena turned to follow them and Blaire was close behind. The men disappeared inside.

  “Jesus Christ,” Blaire whispered as her eyes fell on Clint’s mangled throat.

  Selena passed the body without a second glance and went inside. With some difficulty the men managed to lay Dan out on the long dining table.

  “Weighs a ton,” Cal remarked quietly before turning his eyes to Selena with trepidation. “He gonna be alright?”

  “I don’t know,” she told them honestly as she moved to his side again. “It’s going to be a war against infection. I need to clean him,” she told Blaire. “How fast can you get me boiled water?”

  “Twenty minutes,” the woman told her before bustling out.

  The men stared at her, waiting. She went to Cal and checked the arm wound he had received in the night. It wasn’t bad.

  “Bear, help Cal tie that arm,” she instructed. “I’ll have to work on it later.”

  As they turned to go she added, “When you’re done, there’s one man that got away. Find him. Kill him.”

  The pair of them walked out as Selena began to cut Dan’s clothing carefully away with her knife. She assessed his wounds. The shoulder was her primary worry, but there were many other lacerations and several nasty bruises that had already begun to purple.

  She had him covered when Blaire returned with the first giant pot of hot water and several small towels she had boiled in it. Selena appreciated the woman’s foresight. There was also a pair of tongs from the kitchen for removing the towels from the piping hot water.

  “Make sure no one comes in,” she requested. Selena did not want to be distracted and secretly, she was afraid this would be an emotional process after the traumas she had endured. She felt suddenly grateful for having such a reliable friend to help her with the task that lay ahead.

  Selena draped the towels on the edge of the pot to cool and tied her hair back to keep it out of the way. She first cleaned her own hands and face thoroughly before setting to work on his shoulder.

  Blaire busied herself with many tasks in the quest to bring some order back to the camp, but popped in frequently to check if Selena needed anything.

  “I am going to have to stitch this closed,” she told the older woman the next time she poked her head through the door.

  “Be right back,” Blaire answered before disappearing again.

  Within a few minutes, she returned with surprisingly suitable materials for the task. As Selena carefully stitched, she felt twin spikes of anger and sadness for what he had been forced to endure. She would never forget the haunting image of Dan struggling to rise from the dusty, blood-spattered ground. The flash of this memory tugged a quiet moan from her throat and caused her eyes to well again. She ground her teeth and tried to shake off these thoughts, fighting to keep her hands steady. This was not the time for emotional distractions. She had to focus on closing the wound as skilfully as possible. Once finished with it, Selena allowed herself to relax a little and turned to the rest of him. She tenderly wiped away the grime that covered his skin, studying every part of him as she cleaned, testing for deep tissue injuries or broken bones. At times, his ample muscle made this difficult to discern. Then Selena began to feel strangely guilty. She knew it was ridiculous after all they’d been through, but the job of healing him encouraged her to memorize his body, and it seemed like an unfair thing to do without his permission. But these thoughts as well were thrown quickly to the wayside. She had no time for such trivial nonsense when his life was still at risk. Carefully running her fingers along either side of his rib cage, Selena felt for any inconsistencies. There seemed to be no breakage and she was fairly sure no fractures either. That was a very good thing.

  By late evening, the room was aglow with lanterns and the water pot had been replaced five times. The process of bandaging and dressing the wounds had taken several hours. Though all gashes but the shoulder wound were fairly shallow, Selena was determined to be completely thorough. Blaire checked in again as the process neared its end.

  “How’s he lookin’?” the woman asked with concern, as she entered the room.

  “Lucky,” Selena told her, placing a dry towel under his head as a pillow. “Luckiest man alive. But it’s not over yet.”

  Blaire nodded gravely, adding, “That man’s tough as nails. I’ll put money down that he’s runnin’ around day after tomorrow.”

  Selena didn’t argue, but in truth, she was still worried. He hadn’t woken up at any point while she worked over him. It seemed he was more spent than even she’d imagined.

  “Do we have a litter to move him with?”

  Blaire nodded, “We’ve got a good sturdy one in storage. I’ll bring it to the door.”

  “The boys?”

  “They found him,” Blaire answered with a grim smile. “Back already.”

  “Good,” Selena said in earnest. Knowing that all of them were dead was the best justice she could hope for, but it was not nearly as satisfying as she would have liked. Every single one of them should have suffered much, much more.

  “Jimmy is dead,” Blaire informed her, looking regretful.

  “I know,” Selena answered with a weary sigh, bracing herself on the table and hanging her head.

  “You need to take care of yourself,” Blaire told her looking concerned.

  “Not yet. Can
you get Cal back here? I should fix him up first.”

  Blaire did as she asked and soon Cal strode in, looking tired but satisfied. She gestured towards a chair and he collapsed in it gratefully.

  “How’s he doing?” Cal inquired with a nod in Dan’s direction.

  “Okay so far,” she told him as she cleaned the long slice in his arm. To his credit, he never winced. “This one doesn’t need stitches,” she informed him.

  “Dan is one crazy son of a bitch,” he said with a wag of his head as she worked.

  Selena’s brows knit together. She knew that they had heard Jake call him out, but only she had seen that fight. She wished every one of them had seen what she’d seen, that they’d witnessed the extent of his sacrifice. Just now though, she didn’t want to relive the past twenty-four hours.

  “So, what happened?” he asked her searchingly.

  She sighed in resignation and recounted the events as briefly as possible, excluding Clint’s story about his father and Dan’s. She would get to that later when she had more energy.

  Cal quirked a brow before inquiring, “You did that to Clint?”

  Selena didn’t answer. She wanted to shake the particularly savage moments from her mind. But his response surprised her.

  “Right on,” he said, genuinely.

  A crazy little laugh bubbled from her chest and she quickly stifled it, looking apologetic. He grinned back. How could he be so casual about the fact that she’d torn the man to pieces? Then she remembered that Cal had always felt the strongest distaste for Clint and that was before the betrayal.

  “Thanks,” she answered when she had collected herself.

  A silence passed before Cal fixed her with a worried look.

  “I know it’s probably not my place to ask this,” he fumbled, rubbing the back of his neck with the hand on his good arm and watching her carefully. “Are you okay? I mean … he didn’t …”

  “No,” Selena cut him off in a whisper. “He didn’t have the time.”